October 21, 2023

Yesterday we visited Dr. Botta. He is one of a kind and such a helpful human. It’s worth the hour drive to meet with him every 3 months. He asked if we had any concerns and I noted the following:

The choking on Thursday night

Her more frequent falls and whether we need a life alert

Depression

Decrease in her appetite

They took her blood pressure and it was quite low. They took it 3 times to make sure they got the right reading. He recommended the following around her diet and the choking:

Increase salt intake (for the blood pressure)

Increase sugar intake just before mealtime to stimulate her appetite

Softer foods

He provided some education about the esophagus and those muscles being impacted by the brain’s decline. We discussed concerns regarding pneumonia and the signs (mostly confusion in dementia patients).

I asked about the falls and whether a LifeAlert would be beneficial. I noted a few times she fell I don’t know how long she was there. It could have been an hour or more. He said there are some GPS devices coming out that have the ability to detect when you fall by position but the technology is not very good on them yet. I said I’m not sure if she would use a LifeAlert anyway. I expressed my concerns about not knowing when she falls and he said please don’t feel guilty. Your mom is in a very good situation. She won’t be down long before someone is there to help her. What you are doing with your mom is a real gift to her. She is not in a nursing home. She is surrounded by her loved ones.

I haven’t felt the urge to cry in a doctor’s office since the early days of her diagnosis. But I felt the tears well up. And I did my best to keep them down. It wasn’t because of what he said. It was because I can see her decline happening in front of me. I’m watching it in slow motion. It’s breaking my heart but I rarely take the time to acknowledge it or let myself feel it.