Interactions vs Conversations

I’ve been thinking about my brothers and their relationships with my mother as she has declined. Curt calls from Korea weekly and Eric and his family come over frequently to bring my parents dinner and spend time with them. I watch how little my mom interacts with them now. It’s especially evident during Curt’s phone calls. She is no longer able to hold a conversation.

For the last few years she has stopped asking questions, like she is no longer interested in anyone or anything we are doing. I know that is not the truth...it’s the deterioration of her brain. It occurred to me as I observe my brothers’ relationships, that it seems hard for them to connect with her and her to them. It made me think about the difference between interactions and conversations. I have many interactions with my mom during the day but they are not conversations. It is one of the gifts of this time with her. We connect through our interactions. We don’t talk about much but we laugh together. We have moments. Whether we are watching the dogs or talking about how our roles have reversed or I’m tucking her in at night or helping her get up from her chair. We smile, we laugh, we connect. Our relationship now exists mostly in these interactions and no longer in the conversations. I miss the conversations but I’m grateful for the interactions.